I am where I am.
I am not pretty. I am a mess.
I cannot organize a small table with three objects on it!
This is TOTALLY against my nature! I organize, file, arrange, feng shui everything all day every day since I was born! But lately..... That innate ability is just majikally GONE.
I will NOT be fake!
I cuss and bitch and rant and rave... Humans irritate me and I make no apology for that. I HATE them.... But only because I care so so so much that they hurt like hell to watch and live with!
DO NOT define me.
You do not know me or understand me.
I'm really easy to judge!!! I mean I practically do it for you! I give you lots of ammo and targets!
And STILL, I will not apologize for being where I am.... who I am.... in this moment.
I am where I am.
And I will get to where I go.
I am raw. Improper. People love to see me but hate to see me coming. How can this be "spiritual"!?!?!
Doesn't matter. In ALL THINGS I must be me. Only I can be me!!!! I can't leave it for someone else! I have to process - not suppress - all that I have.
Process - not suppress.
I have to live it out. I have to be this until I can no longer bear it. And then, and only then, I will be something new. No one can start or stop this process.
I will cuss.
I will drink beer and cocktails.
Don't be surprised if you see a cigarette in my hand.
When it's time, and ONLY when it's time.... I will be something else.
But right now, I'm being this.
And if this energy is more than you can be happy and comfortable with, then by all means fuck off. You have my blessing. I understand. I really do. Just like I understand why I can't stand being around people sometimes. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad.... It's just better if I stay away so that I don't really start to hate you... Or myself for being so ill!
I will watch TV and movies... I will watch stupid things and boring things... for my own damn reasons.
And if all these things that I "do" or say causes you to think or believe something bad about me.... Then you're nothing more than a child. Or a fucking idiot. A child in the sense that you are not an evolved adult human being with an alive a functioning sense of intuition. You're a child in that you still judge a book by its cover, or more accurately by your own sense of "right and wrong", "good and bad", "spiritual and fake"...
I will not play your games the way you want me to. I partake of and admire a handful of "spiritual" people. They help me.... Feed me.... Encourage me..... Confirm that I'm not crazy for seeing what I see and feeling what I feel, in spite of being so unspiritual!!!
I am the renegade. The rogue. The rebel. (why do all those words start with R???!?)
I do right the wrong way. (OMG AND HOLY SHIT! I've just come up with a hit country song!!!!!!)
And I also do wrong the right way. I'm on the wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side of hell... (FFDP)
I am respectful. Tactful. Polite.
I am non-confrontational.
But then again I've been know to embarrass my kids by opening my mouth when everyone else was afraid to. There've also been times that I made them stand a little taller for having the balls to open my mouth when everyone else was afraid to!
Go ahead.
Judge me.
You really can't say anything true that I don't already very well know about myself.
I AM integrity!!!!
I live for Truth.
I will die for Honesty.
I'm a mess.
I don't have a "job".
I have holes in most of my clothes and shoes. I look like a homeless person. Or a lesbian. Or both.
I have not given up.
I have just let go.
I have not lost my vision. I know exactly where I stand. I make NO excuses. I blame no one. And I also make NO apologies! Where I am is my choice. I chose to be here. I choose to experience this. It serves my purpose for now in spite of the fact that it totally fucks with everyone..... All of you!!!
The REAL point is that it no longer fucks with ME!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
I'm not the only one "practicing" this kind of "spirituality".
You don't know our struggle.
We will not behave. We will not fall in line. We will not knock it off or cut it out.
Being "True to ourselves" is just fucking obnoxious to you.
And I'm learning to love me for it.
I'm getting it.
We are your test.
LMFAO!!!!!!!
And we don't give a fuck that you fail.
You're making us stronger and stronger - more and more aware.
And awareness only leads to love.... god.... truth.....
A Love and a God and a Truth that you just cannot! Wrap your...... head? . . . heart? . . . around...???
We love you...!!!
We are here for you.
We may defy your definition of love and spirit and god....
And that's exactly why we're here!
Every time you think you've got it figured out, we're here to say "Fuck you, try again!" LOL!!!
Peace.
I am not pretty. I am a mess.
I cannot organize a small table with three objects on it!
This is TOTALLY against my nature! I organize, file, arrange, feng shui everything all day every day since I was born! But lately..... That innate ability is just majikally GONE.
I will NOT be fake!
I cuss and bitch and rant and rave... Humans irritate me and I make no apology for that. I HATE them.... But only because I care so so so much that they hurt like hell to watch and live with!
DO NOT define me.
You do not know me or understand me.
I'm really easy to judge!!! I mean I practically do it for you! I give you lots of ammo and targets!
And STILL, I will not apologize for being where I am.... who I am.... in this moment.
I am where I am.
And I will get to where I go.
I am raw. Improper. People love to see me but hate to see me coming. How can this be "spiritual"!?!?!
Doesn't matter. In ALL THINGS I must be me. Only I can be me!!!! I can't leave it for someone else! I have to process - not suppress - all that I have.
Process - not suppress.
I have to live it out. I have to be this until I can no longer bear it. And then, and only then, I will be something new. No one can start or stop this process.
I will cuss.
I will drink beer and cocktails.
Don't be surprised if you see a cigarette in my hand.
When it's time, and ONLY when it's time.... I will be something else.
But right now, I'm being this.
And if this energy is more than you can be happy and comfortable with, then by all means fuck off. You have my blessing. I understand. I really do. Just like I understand why I can't stand being around people sometimes. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad.... It's just better if I stay away so that I don't really start to hate you... Or myself for being so ill!
I will watch TV and movies... I will watch stupid things and boring things... for my own damn reasons.
And if all these things that I "do" or say causes you to think or believe something bad about me.... Then you're nothing more than a child. Or a fucking idiot. A child in the sense that you are not an evolved adult human being with an alive a functioning sense of intuition. You're a child in that you still judge a book by its cover, or more accurately by your own sense of "right and wrong", "good and bad", "spiritual and fake"...
I will not play your games the way you want me to. I partake of and admire a handful of "spiritual" people. They help me.... Feed me.... Encourage me..... Confirm that I'm not crazy for seeing what I see and feeling what I feel, in spite of being so unspiritual!!!
I am the renegade. The rogue. The rebel. (why do all those words start with R???!?)
I do right the wrong way. (OMG AND HOLY SHIT! I've just come up with a hit country song!!!!!!)
And I also do wrong the right way. I'm on the wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side of hell... (FFDP)
I am respectful. Tactful. Polite.
I am non-confrontational.
But then again I've been know to embarrass my kids by opening my mouth when everyone else was afraid to. There've also been times that I made them stand a little taller for having the balls to open my mouth when everyone else was afraid to!
Go ahead.
Judge me.
You really can't say anything true that I don't already very well know about myself.
I AM integrity!!!!
I live for Truth.
I will die for Honesty.
I'm a mess.
I don't have a "job".
I have holes in most of my clothes and shoes. I look like a homeless person. Or a lesbian. Or both.
I have not given up.
I have just let go.
I have not lost my vision. I know exactly where I stand. I make NO excuses. I blame no one. And I also make NO apologies! Where I am is my choice. I chose to be here. I choose to experience this. It serves my purpose for now in spite of the fact that it totally fucks with everyone..... All of you!!!
The REAL point is that it no longer fucks with ME!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
I'm not the only one "practicing" this kind of "spirituality".
You don't know our struggle.
We will not behave. We will not fall in line. We will not knock it off or cut it out.
Being "True to ourselves" is just fucking obnoxious to you.
And I'm learning to love me for it.
I'm getting it.
We are your test.
LMFAO!!!!!!!
And we don't give a fuck that you fail.
You're making us stronger and stronger - more and more aware.
And awareness only leads to love.... god.... truth.....
A Love and a God and a Truth that you just cannot! Wrap your...... head? . . . heart? . . . around...???
We love you...!!!
We are here for you.
We may defy your definition of love and spirit and god....
And that's exactly why we're here!
Every time you think you've got it figured out, we're here to say "Fuck you, try again!" LOL!!!
Peace.
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