Feel Like Acid

(From 7.11.13)

Everyone is not the same.
And I too am very different.
I feel the pain of the world.
I can't help it. I can't stop it.
And I resent anyone who tries to "fix" me or tell me that I'm being negative.
Bitch you don't know me is what I say to those.
You can't even fathom what I see and feel and know.
I know the difference between negative and what I experience.
It has taken a lifetime to even begin to accept this part of me, and it is even more difficult to know why or what to do with it. And I'm not asking YOU for the answer.
I'm putting to language......
I'm just putting to language...

Sometimes I feel like acid.
I understand why I don't have friends, or family. 3 people are close to me and that is all. I get on my own nerves, I don't blame others for keeping their distance.

It's something I question every day of my life. When I realize the answer, I'll try to let you know. Till then, I suggest that wise ones don't judge.
And I recommend fools and idiots judge, super-size it, and say ah fuck it every chance they get.

Its scary.

(The Present 1.8.17)

It's not so scary anymore. I don't even remember it ever being that way.

I still have only 3 people close to me, and one of those is "distantly close" at best.

I understand more and more everyday how I don't need to be fixed.

I may feel like acid..... But I have also come to realize that I am acid proof.

I am an antibody.

I am a catalyst.

I am a passage thru the burn.

I am here for you.

I am here to transmute the energy of the acid from destructive to productive.

An alchemist of energy.

To turn hate into love.

To turn fear into peace.

To turn weakness into confidence.

Yes, I feel like acid.

What does that mean...

Study acid fools.

I will fuck you up everytime.