Crash Landed

If I had a million dollars I'd still be miserable.  I'd still be me.
Everything is draining... bleeding out....
They're blocking out the sun.
Money is meaningless and almost literally worthless. But goddamn it'd be good to have a million right now.
I came into this world to help change it. I didn't get proper guidance for my mission, my purpose. I came in raw, ready to go to work, but I needed assistance to integrate into this dimension. I didn't get it. I've spent the past fifty years lost. I never got my integration training and now it's too late for that.
Where do I start from now?

Now that the whole thing is almost over...!

There was supposed to have been a process that would have placed me in position to find my peers, my group, my team. But instead, I ended up with parents who were totally unequiped to do this for me. Why?
It is as if I crash landed... And now, after fifty years on this planet, I'm left, alone, to make sense of what's left of my time here. Left to sort out this burning passion that I brought into this world, separated from my peers, not knowing where to turn now that I finally realize what was supposed to happen.
It's all a mess it seems.
A great big mess.......